Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Groundhog Day 2010

Well, today is Groundhog Day. Some folks say the little Pennsylvania guy can predict if we'll have six more weeks of winter weather, or early spring weather. Supposedly, he comes out of his simulated tree stump and either sees, or doesn't see, his shadow. But you know me, I prefer a more scientific approach to everything.

I read this morning on the Internet that the beast has already emerged and seen his shadow. That means there is supposed to be six more weeks of winter weather. Maybe he's right. After all, there are approximately six weeks of winter left before the Vernal Equinox on March 20, 2010. And although I do love snow, sledding, and ice skating, I'm more than ready for warmer weather.

Therefore, I've decided that a second opinion is warranted. If we are to depend on furry rodents to prognosticate, then I'm sending Digby out tomorrow morning, February 3, for the first official "Gopher Day." I don't know what he'll see, and there's no telling what he'll be looking for, since Digby's genuinely a crazy little gopher.

Actually, he's not little at all. He's pretty big for a gopher. He's every bit as big as the average groundhog, which is considerably larger than the average gopher. And, of course, groundhogs hibernate — gophers do not. Digs would never check out for months at a time when there is so much mischief waiting for him to get into here in the surface world.

Digby is from the interior world of Krybos, where impossibilities are the norm. When in his native Krybos, Digby can talk. I discovered this when I ended up in his world, and he started conversing in a thick, suave Sean Connery meter and tone. Snap! Who knew?

Anyway, up here in the surface world, our world, Digby doesn't speak. He only makes typical gopher noises, with the occasional, and unfortunate, rumble and crack of stomach distress blended in.

With Digby's help, tomorrow will be the first official "Gopher Day."

He'll tunnel out of Grandpa's Attic first thing in the morning and then . . .

Until tomorrow,